YESHIO
THE ULTIMATE SPIRITUAL ORGANIZATION
(THAT DEFINITELY WANTS YOUR MONEY)
CULT MEMBERS JOINED
🔥 GROWING EVERY SECOND! 🔥
⚡ +10 NEW MEMBERS joining every second!
💰 That's $9,999.90 per second in membership fees!
(This counter is totally real and not fake at all)
MANDATORY LORE
YOU MUST STUDY THIS BEFORE JOINING OUR CULT
(Seriously, it's required. We'll quiz you later.)
THE SACRED TEACHINGS
⚠️ ATTENTION: VIEWING IS MANDATORY ⚠️
This video contains 100% of our totally legitimate spiritual knowledge
(We definitely didn't just find this on YouTube)
JOIN OUR CULT
(We're totally not a scam, we promise!)
PREMIUM MEMBERSHIP
- 💰Give us all your money (for spiritual reasons)
- 🏠Sell your house and live in our compound
- 👥Cut ties with family (they don't understand)
- 🧠Stop thinking for yourself (we'll do it for you)
- 📺Watch our mandatory lore video 47 times daily
TOTALLY REAL SCIENCE
- 🔬Our leader has a PhD from YouTube University
- 👽Aliens told us about Minecraft dimensions
- 💎Diamonds cure depression (send us yours)
- 🌟We definitely didn't make this up
- 📖Our sacred lore is 100% scientifically accurate
TOTALLY REAL TESTIMONIALS
"I gave them my life savings and now I live in a cardboard box, but I'm spiritually enlightened!"
- Definitely Not Our Intern
"I watched the mandatory lore video 500 times and now I can see through walls! (It's just malnutrition)"
- Our Leader's Mom
JOIN OUR CULT TODAY!
Send us your bank details, social security number, and firstborn child!
(But first, make sure you've watched our mandatory lore video!)
donotdoubt@yeshio.comThis is a parody website making fun of cult recruitment tactics.
"If it sounds too good to be true, it probably wants your wallet."
Seriously though, don't join actual cults. They're bad.